War on the Nipple

Monday, July 20th, 2009 | Posted by: Kristen Tsetsi

Okay, so I watch E!

If I didn’t, I never would have seen the censored image of Carmen Electra’s latest photo shoot. Thankfully, our media–in the interest of not stepping over the obscenity or nudity boundary on TV–was careful to cover the offending part of the picture.

No, no - not like that. Using a black bar leaves too much to the imagination - you can’t quite see the whole breast.

Instead, to follow decency guidelines by not showing a veritably naked woman on family-hour TV, they went with the “alien breast” approach. This way, you can see the breast in its entirety (the silicone curve and suppleness, the shadows, the contour) but without the most offending part (and you know what it is).

I’m not saying nipples (sorry: female nipples) should be made available for viewing - really, family-hour TV doesn’t need naked women (I would have said “and men,” but that just doesn’t happen, anyway…not on American TV, where the penis is sacred and Shall Not Be Looked Upon Nor Judged). But it is laughable to see what is considered by the censors as “appropriate” nudity. The sexual suggestion (declaration?) is there, the breast is there - it’s all there except for two little round circles.